Monday, September 27, 2010

Pre Approval Needed

Yea yea I don't blog enough whatever.. haven't felt like it so sue me, however, I could NOT get through another day without putting my approved and UNapproved obituary terms out here in cyberspace so when I "croak" (oddly that was not on the list) there will be something to reference back to when one writes my obituary. I would really like to approve the thing after the first draft but since I will be dead and my Sisper is afraid of Ouija boards I think I am out of luck.

So without further ado.. the list and the reason why the verbiage is accepted or tossed out.

asleep,- I am not terribly fond of this it could scare small children.. they may wonder why they are putting me in the ground if I am merely asleep
bereft of life,- this one I could go for.
bloodless,- use this only if I am attacked by a vampire
bought the farm,- don't bother with this one either because well lets face it.. I am never buying a farm I hate horses
breathless,- maybe if I die from lung cancer.. teach others not to pick up the nasty little habit I have
buried,- only if I have been buried pre obituary
cadaverous,- please don't use this for me.. we could however use this for my mother as she has dictated she wants her body donated to science.. IN WRITING
checked out,- NOW THIS ONE IS A KEEPER
cold,- no.. I am never cold.. down right mean and hateful but not cold.
cut off,- Dear lord in heaven.. please don't ever ever ever let me be cut off.
deceased,- I could go for this one.
defunct,- NO WAY.. THAT IS LIKE CRISP.. just a nasty word
departed,- hmm no thanks.. I don't want to depart that doesn't sound like fun.. that sounds like I legally left or left mad
done for,- Maybe so... not bad.
erased,- i REFUSE to be erased.. those that I predecease better ensure that I do NOT become erased.
expired,- I am NOT a dairy product
extinct,- Nor am I a dinosaur
gone,- I don't think I would just be gone.. that is too.. oh i don't know.. final.
gone to meet maker,- my maker.. my maker.. nah I am not feeling it.
gone to reward,- only if someone can ensure me there is booze in heaven
inanimate,- I do NOT believe that I will ever be inanimate even if I am deceased
inert,- I don't know what this one even means
late,- LORD HELP ME IF I AM LATE I will be dead cause I will die of heartfailure at the prospect of having another living being I am responsible for.. where is that booze again
lifeless,- ya.. I could do that.
liquidated,- Only if I die in a vat of acid
mortified,- no.. nothing mortifies me
no more,- I just don't like this one.
not existing,- not this one either
offed,- use this one only if I meet an untimely demise
out of one's misery,- please only use this if old husband did not predeceased me
passed away,- I have NEVER PASSED a thing in my life.. why start now.
perished,- that one always made me giggle maybe use that.
pushing up daisies,- umm HELLO i do not like flowers so NO
reposing, again.. not sure about this one.. I think not.
resting in peace,- again with the sleep thing .. it will scare little children.
spiritless,- nope I will still have a spirit I will come back and show you.. promise.

stiff, - dude seriously this is another on of those only if young handsome husband is around.. cause I haven't had anything stiff in awhile now
unanimated, I was animated the day I was born no vampire is going to suck that out of me
wasted- this may be utilized if I die intoxicated which in all likelihood will happen so lets settle this right now..

Ann Marie Burroughs Haywood deceased and she was wasted.


  1. One of the exciting things I get to do here at my job is check the links of our online newspapers .. which includes the obits .. if you want to live forever move to Jackson, Michigan because no one there ever dies .. or if they do, no one ever writes an obit .. that aside I have occasionally had an obit photo or wording catch my eye .. here are two that are at the top of my list:
    slipped into the presence of her Lord

    went home to be with his Lord

    And I think the term 'slipped' is not a good one, it makes me think the person was a klutz and even in the afterlife still klutzy.

    And the 'home to be with his Lord' thing .. well, is his Lord in his, the dead person's, home? That would scare me ..

    Anyway I think being proactive is good ... and I am hoping you dont die for a very long time.

  2. When I die I'm going to have a party.. I have it all planned and in writing. My kids just have to read and do it. I want to have for my last song at my funeral to be > Dale Evans and Roy Rogers "Happy Trails To You".. untill we meet again.. I told my children it would be nice if they had coconut halves and click them together to make it sound like a horses feet... I have the CD in a envelope with my wishes in writing..
    I also want the song written by "Mercy Me"..I Can Only Imagine"...
    Now after the funeral I want baloons and party plates at the dinner they have for you after a funeral.. I told the kids to go through the house and pick up anything they don't want and take it to the dinner and that could be door prizes.. I want it to be a party.. I'll be with Jesus ~ So I won't know if they did this or not. But it sure would be a great last hurrah for me and my kids. Haven't thought about what I want the obituary to say.. Just keep it short and sweet. Have a great day~!

  3. My mom wants a jazz funeral, like in New Orleans. I don't know why, because she's a lifelong Pennsylvanian. But who am I to argue with someone about her last wishes? She also wants my sister and I to start writing her obituary NOW. We said, hey, if you're that concerned about its contents, you should write it yourself before you, um, can't anymore!

  4. LOL @ Daryl. And my mother gave us so many instructions for hers...I have actually started my own funeral folder. It has my favorite hymns and other various ideas. I may be certifiable--we make a good pair;)