Wednesday, October 27, 2010

With Regret

Technically it was with mockery but whatever, I have written my obituary. I am hoping that between now and then it will be filled in with yet more fun facts but for now here we go.

Please feel free to send me any edits you would like made, I will approve or reject and squeeze them in when I can make time over the next 60 plus years.

With deepest regrets this obituary is running to inform you that Ann Marie Burroughs Haywood has perished.
Re died unexpectedly late last evening while entertaining a guest that should probably remain nameless.
While Re lived a long life of 90 plus years (none of us are supposed to know she is really 103) she still was spry enough to seduce the youngest of men, and did so frequently in her home in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and her summer cottage in Italy.
She leaves behind 3 children, two sons, Drake (76) who is still going strong in the competitive video game circuit while donning black hair and Dustin (81) who is made millions creating video games that only his brother Drake can beat and a daughter Deanna (79) who still wonders daily if this bizarre creature was really her mother. Also in her wake she has left a trail of men who may never get over her untimely departure from this life, one Sisper who is still laughing at the fact Re predeceased her and her OPM who loved Re unconditionally but who did not share with her the survival juice so she could make it to .. well let's just say older, so now OPM will be haunted for eternity.
Re will be met in the afterlife by her loving father, Henry Burroughs, her fake mother (who is still rolling over in her grave) Ruth Ann Hutson, her real mother who shall remain nameless as well to protect the not so innocent, a beautiful half sister who helped Re figure out the mystery of her parentage, her sweet angel Dustin Stilwell, and countless envious friends and relatives.
Please plan to attend the HomeGoing Party to be hosted by Ms Haywood's Sisper Phyllis Marsh at her Estate in Mathews County "Firefly Manor".
In lieu of flowers please plan to bring booze.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


This post is brought to you by the letter W for Wine (probably too much of it) and the number 4 for how many too much.

Do you have a soulmate? What are your actual thoughts on what a soulmate is?

Is it someone who is in your life for a long extended period?
Is it someone who no matter how long or short they were in your life just had a profound impact on your life?
Is it someone who you are in love with and fall into a marital type relationship?
Is it someone who through life and death you still have a connection to?
Does your soulmate have to be of the opposite sex?

This is for you people out there that I see reading who don't always comment too.. I see you so leave a comment let me know you what you think.

In loving memory of Pansy Boy.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Friday, October 8, 2010

Mathews County Blog

So apparently in order to have a blog come up under any search for Mathews County Blogs you must have a Blog post with Mathews County in the title. Even if that blog post is about a pot bust it comes up in a google search, me I don't get so much as a blip on the radar screen of google.

Let's see if this helps change that.

If you landed here by searching for Mathews County well.. enjoy the rest of the blog this is just a book mark!


Adventures with kitties...

For those of you who don't know my cat, Kittem was rescued out of a crab pot, very dehydrated and starving, she was but a wee little thing then.

As time has gone on she has grown and flourished and ate the entire end of my sofa scratched up a few things, but alas she is just a sweet baby; one who spends 75% of her time curled up on my bed in a ball and the other 25% of the time divided between howling at whatever it is she is howling at, scratching up my sofa, drinking water straight out the faucet (do not ask) and eating, all in all not such a bad life for a cat who was doomed to starve in a crab pot. (that is the longest sentence in history)

Now lets turn our attention to this little kitty, we will call her Muffin, just for the sake of calling her Muffin. I took this photo of her over a year ago by my neighbors house while trespassing when they weren't home taking photos of their pretty flowers. Muffin was just sitting there under a bush looking at me like I had lost my mind, which is quite possible. I attempted to catch her but my camera was not making very good bait and I didn't have a crab pot handy at the moment so I let her go on her way.

I have heard that Muffin still roams the neighborhood and is all grown up not to mention doing quite well for her self living in a mansion on the hill and driving a convertible Mercedes eating all the fish she can hold from down the dock, and staying warm at night by sneaking in boat cabins for a safe spot to nap. Now while this sounds like the life of luxury for one little stray kitty lets keep in mind that she must get up VERY early in the morning to ensure she is safely off of the boats before the watermen come down to go out for the day, this means one must turn in fairly early if you are going to get enough sleep especially if you spent the day wheeling around town in your Mercedes eating as many fish as you could hold.

This plan works out well for the most part except then THAT day happened, the day that Muffin was awaken by the car alarm on her Mercedes and she knew Kittem was back to take what was rightfully her's the low rumbling sound of the engine and the roll of the boat as it made it's way out of the creek! Muffin quickly thought to herself "How could I have over slept??!!". With a quick glance around the cabin she realized the door was open and there was light from the big ball of fire in the sky still streaming in, "This can't be possible." Muffin thought, as she decided to hunker back further in the cabin to keep out of sight. As she listened to the men discuss their work and what was going on she pieced together that she had not in fact over slept they had decided to go and set one more net!!! "What to do? What to do?" Muffin pondered over and over for what seemed like eternity, and finally that fateful moment occurred when she had no more recourse but to run for it.

Muffin found herself cornered in the cabin, trying desperately to hide from the men on the boat, but as they made their way to where the net was to be set they would be needing their gloves. In Muffin's haste to hide from the men she had backed herself right on to what the men were going to be reaching for next! As the waterman reached down to retrieve his gloves from the dark corner of the cabin Muffin had no choice but to make a break for it. Out of the cabin she ran like a dash causing the watermen to fall on his ass and think he was having a heart attack, up on to the washboard and up on to the dock.... What wait we are almost to the bay.. there IS NO DOCK. Unfortunately for our friend Muffin she figured this out about the same moment she went SPLASH! Muffin in her panic had made the dreadful mistake of jumping straight overboard with land no where in reach, and in her attempt to figure out how to get out of that cold, rough water that kept going over her head, in her ears, and up her nose, she began swimming in circles.

Lucky for Muffin she had one thing going for her, the kind hearted waterman that operated the boat, after he recovered from what he surely thought was a heart attack the shock of having a cat dart at you from the darkness, he went to check on Muffin and see if he could help her. What he
found as he looked for the mysterious diving cat was Muffin struggling to stay afloat, the kind waterman turned the boat around and with in minutes he and the piece of crap the dude that works with him had returned Muffin safely to dry boat where she went and perched on the bow until they were with in 5 foot of the dock where she made a flying leap to dry land and safety.

I haven't seen Muffin since, I betting that she has found a safer place to call home at night and I am sure she is still getting her fill of fish from down the dock, but there has to be some small part of her that wishes she had landed herself in a crab pot when she was just a wee thing.

Just a few more shots of Kittem I took yesterday.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Two of my greatest loves...

I have a long list of great loves and I won't bore you with those details but yesterday my wonderful cousin Robbi aka Dumplin (I just got disowned again) posted this video on face book and I have watched it over and over since.

I have never embedded a video on my blog before so lets hope the gods of rock are up there watching over me.

First off we have Ozzy.. there is nothing more to say.. it is OZZY! I could have been a Sharon easily and happily. I would have had to change my name though because him screaming Re does not have the same ring as ShaRON does.
Photo take by Dustin Taylor 2010 NYC Sr Trip

The other, Mr John Winston Ono-Lennon himself. The coming Saturday, John would have turned 70 but as we all know his life was cut tragically short AT THE ENTRANCE of his home The Dakota's in 1980. When I was younger I listened to his music and thought the world should listen as well but as time moved on John and the Beatles just didn't always fall on my playlist and they were pushed to the back of my mind, until one day my oldest son expressed an interest, and that interest grew to a massive CD, book, and poster collection.

Thank you my son for reminding me that we all just need to "Let it Be", "Come Together" and just take the time to "Imagine".
Photo take by Dustin Taylor 2010 NYC Sr Trip

Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try
No people below us, above it's only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do
No need to kill or die for and no religions too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger a brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing for the world

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
Take my hand and join us
And the world will live, will live as one
~John Lennon

PS. This post is about two OF my MANY great loves and in no way puts my Sisper at the bottom of any list NOR does the songs utlized in this post in anyway indicate my list of FAVORITE Beatles songs in any particular order but it has been brought to my attention that one could NOT have a Beatles post without mentioning this one.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A touch of fall

Tuesday evening I was coming home from a very important meeting and while cruising down the road while talking on the phone with my mother, (don't ask me what the argument was about, they are so countless I can't remember one from the other anymore and they just all pile up into one big she just plain hates me fest) I noticed the trees looked a bit odd. Me being me I threw the phone on the seat (no I don't think I said goodbye) and frantically slammed on the brakes slowed to a safe speed and found a safe place to pull over.

YankedSlowly removed the camera out of the bag and stood right in the middle of the road on the shoulder of the road out of the way of traffic and took these shots of the odd light on the tree and well someone's house I don't even know.

For some reason I think this particular tree was in the Sun god's favor Tuesday evening.

This is just the same shot toyed with a bit.

Dear People who live here next to Mobjack Farm, I am sorry if I invaded your privacy, I did not mean too but LOOK how pretty this is! The sky was just incredibly pink and gorgeous and looked like marshmallow clouds and gum drops. PS. I may have left a bit of my tire tread in front of your drive way, again, I apologize. Love, ReVogel the one who is not scared to really trespass.

Mrs BlueJ.. hmm or are you Mr BlueJ? I am going with Mrs as you appear to be wearing a boa in this shot and well I am not sure I am comfortable with Drag Queen BlueJs hanging out in my front yard.

Fall is in there air people, so much so I took out my *GASP* fall/winter clothes yesterday and put away all of the shorts and bathing suits and muu muu's until next summer.

The one good thing about fall... I LOVE taking photos of it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The smell of money....

My post today is just a follow up to a few of the unanswered questions people may have from Life in Mathews today.

1. Oyster tongs.. clam rakes.. so you get a point there CBW.
2. HOWEVER, if your gill nets fit in a bucket... well that is a premature infant gill net.. when you have put them in a 50 gallon barrel then come back and talk to me :)

Gill nets how do you explain gill nets.. they are long nets that the men (or in the case of CBW and I, small children) run out of a boat with buoys and anchors and weights attached to them (unless of course yours are in a bucket then I doubt you have buoys and anchors) you allow them to sit for a bit (over night if it is not too hot and the crabs aren't eating your fish right out of the net) then you haul them back into the boat untangling very smelly fish as you go.

By smelly I mean almost make you puke smelly but as my grandfather said.. that is the smell of money.

The reason for the NAME gill net is that what is supposed to happen is the fish attempts to swim through the net and kinda like a fat kid trying to get a piece of cake through a doggie door gets stuck half way.. when the little fish tries to back out he gets all tangled up in the net with his gills.

As must of you know, the waterman well he works on the water and right this minute he is out there in the bay fishing a gill net. When he gets back to the dock today he will smell so incredibly bad that even after he takes a shower he STILL STINKS.

If you have any more questions about how bad of a stink that really is or just about how a gill net works come see me and I will send you out there and you can stink too just ask!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Pre Approval Needed

Yea yea I don't blog enough whatever.. haven't felt like it so sue me, however, I could NOT get through another day without putting my approved and UNapproved obituary terms out here in cyberspace so when I "croak" (oddly that was not on the list) there will be something to reference back to when one writes my obituary. I would really like to approve the thing after the first draft but since I will be dead and my Sisper is afraid of Ouija boards I think I am out of luck.

So without further ado.. the list and the reason why the verbiage is accepted or tossed out.

asleep,- I am not terribly fond of this it could scare small children.. they may wonder why they are putting me in the ground if I am merely asleep
bereft of life,- this one I could go for.
bloodless,- use this only if I am attacked by a vampire
bought the farm,- don't bother with this one either because well lets face it.. I am never buying a farm I hate horses
breathless,- maybe if I die from lung cancer.. teach others not to pick up the nasty little habit I have
buried,- only if I have been buried pre obituary
cadaverous,- please don't use this for me.. we could however use this for my mother as she has dictated she wants her body donated to science.. IN WRITING
checked out,- NOW THIS ONE IS A KEEPER
cold,- no.. I am never cold.. down right mean and hateful but not cold.
cut off,- Dear lord in heaven.. please don't ever ever ever let me be cut off.
deceased,- I could go for this one.
defunct,- NO WAY.. THAT IS LIKE CRISP.. just a nasty word
departed,- hmm no thanks.. I don't want to depart that doesn't sound like fun.. that sounds like I legally left or left mad
done for,- Maybe so... not bad.
erased,- i REFUSE to be erased.. those that I predecease better ensure that I do NOT become erased.
expired,- I am NOT a dairy product
extinct,- Nor am I a dinosaur
gone,- I don't think I would just be gone.. that is too.. oh i don't know.. final.
gone to meet maker,- my maker.. my maker.. nah I am not feeling it.
gone to reward,- only if someone can ensure me there is booze in heaven
inanimate,- I do NOT believe that I will ever be inanimate even if I am deceased
inert,- I don't know what this one even means
late,- LORD HELP ME IF I AM LATE I will be dead cause I will die of heartfailure at the prospect of having another living being I am responsible for.. where is that booze again
lifeless,- ya.. I could do that.
liquidated,- Only if I die in a vat of acid
mortified,- no.. nothing mortifies me
no more,- I just don't like this one.
not existing,- not this one either
offed,- use this one only if I meet an untimely demise
out of one's misery,- please only use this if old husband did not predeceased me
passed away,- I have NEVER PASSED a thing in my life.. why start now.
perished,- that one always made me giggle maybe use that.
pushing up daisies,- umm HELLO i do not like flowers so NO
reposing, again.. not sure about this one.. I think not.
resting in peace,- again with the sleep thing .. it will scare little children.
spiritless,- nope I will still have a spirit I will come back and show you.. promise.

stiff, - dude seriously this is another on of those only if young handsome husband is around.. cause I haven't had anything stiff in awhile now
unanimated, I was animated the day I was born no vampire is going to suck that out of me
wasted- this may be utilized if I die intoxicated which in all likelihood will happen so lets settle this right now..

Ann Marie Burroughs Haywood deceased and she was wasted.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I am just stopping by

to let all of you know that I HATE school. Seriously.

While I know it is essential for my children's future does it HAVE to be so damn difficult on ME. I have already been through school (while it took my poor sister everything in her to drag me through it I did do it) and I do NOT recall my mother at 16 having to ask me if I had my shoes for gym, only to turn around to ask me if I had my shoes for cheer and have BOTH answers be NO.

I may be stupid or just a bit insane but by NOW I thought that I would not have to keep up with each and every little article of clothing, homework, or assignment for these teenagers. Apparently I was dead wrong. Not to mention I didn't think I would have to say.. "go take off all that crap off your eyes you look like Flo from Mel's Diner" (of course the reply to that was a blue eyeshadowed covered blank stare).

So as of yesterday the lazy summer life as I knew it has ended and my morning time has been invaded with things like spilled juice that someone watches just run on to the floor (seriously didn't even TRY to use the towel that was sitting on the table to stop it... watched it run by the towel onto the floor), someone screaming "SHUT UP" at the top of their lungs to which my reply was "NO YOU!!".. yes I know soooo mature, then having to get up 3 TIMES during the night to tell the youngest one to "PLEASE go to bed" the last time was 2 am.. I then gave up. I have not yet figured out how exactly I am going to make it through the next 178 mornings of this, I will be COMPLETE INSANE by the end of the first month.

In reality I need advice, I have never claimed to be mother of the year material but this seems to be just a bit insane, how do you get your kids to take responsibility for themselves and their work? How do you get them to set the clock for the time to get up and NOT the time the bus comes (seriously punk girl has her clock set for 10 minutes before the bus gets here but wont set it for the time she has to get up, this is so that if she goes back to sleep after getting ready she won't miss the bus)? How do you get them to ensure they have their "things" they need for sports or school ready the night before not 2 minutes before the bus comes when Mom asks.. do you have ______ and the answer is no. How do you get them to give a rats ass that their breath smells like a rats ass because they haven't brushed their teeth until Mom says.. BRUSH YOUR NASTY ASS TEETH.

I have to stop whining now because it is 2 minutes before the bus gets here and BOTH OF THEM ARE ASLEEP!!!!!

I am at the end of my rope... I didn't sign up for this.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Tis' Thursday...

and I got nothing.

Well I got the fact that I totally forgot someone's birthday today and I am trying to cover for that blunder (I think it was a case of physiological revenge... or maybe it was just me being physco.. either way)

I got the fact that I made coffee this morning and returned to my computer while it was brewing to read HER blog. Only to go running shuffling to the pot with my eyes half closed to discover I had made a pot of hot water. I am serious about the fact I need to pre-game coffee making.

I got the fact that tomorrow I am going to meet my Ya Ya with both of our college boys for DINNER even though both of our boys thought I said BREAKFAST... must check with Ya Ya to make sure she knew dinner.. Who goes to the Crack Bar for Breakfast.. (apparently lots of people btw)

I got the fact that I have fallen in love and not with a person... with an area.. and that area ain't here, but I will give you a clue because these lovilies live there and I can't wait to go back and see them again.

So I suppose the point is if I disappear and you just don't have a clue where to look.. go talk to the Wild Horses they may have a clue.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I am...

back here and not there which makes my head spin and hurt really badly.

I want to give a big old birthday shout out to my favorite sister person in the world! Miss Phyllis Marsh who turned 29 yesterday! It seems weird to me that we will be celebrating our 30th birthday's next year around this time. I was talking to a wonderful woman yesterday, the owner of The Mystic Jewel, (by the way the store turned 19 on my sister person's 29th.. how cool is that!!) and she made the comment to me that she remembered when her mother was at ____ age and how she felt like she was a mom and old. I remember that feeling, I still have that feeling. I have a theory.. anything older than 20 years old that you are at any given time in life is OLD.. when you get there it isn't so much anymore.


I am rambling.. badly.. I will stop now and say happy birthday Sister Person, I hope I get back there to you before I miss you too terribly bad.. cause I already miss you!!!!


Friday, July 30, 2010

MURDER at Whalehead...

View of the Whalehead Club from Currituck Lighthouse

While I have been on my vacation that is not a VACATION but is a vacation I had the pleasure of having a book plopped in my lap with the exclamation of "YOU MUST READ THIS!!!"

My first thought was "Where the hell is Whalehead?" I seriously had never heard of it at all but figured what the hell why not. As I dove into the pages of the book by Joe C. Ellis I had mental images pop up of the way things were supposed to look.

Last night I finished the book and am happy to say I knew whodounit from chapter one. I have talent like that. However, lets back the train up just a tad, to where I said I don't know where Whalehead is.. I do now. Whalehead is the Whalehead Club located right here in Corolla beside the Currituck Lighthouse that I featured in photos yesterday of that little climbing adventure. What I did not tell you was that after Drake stopped threatening to kill me shaking due to the incredible heights I made him climb to, we continued on our little afternoon fieldtrip and decided to check out the tour of the Whalehead Club. It was amazing but, you can not take photos inside the building, so let me just tell you it was worth every moment. Stepping back in time AND living out the pages of the book that I was so engrossed in, it was just WONDERFUL!

Here are a few photos that were taken during our tour in legal photo taking places.

I love it when houses look like they have faces, this one has a long nose and vampire teeth
(i will now stop smoking the doobie and get on with my post)

Loved loved loved the windows... I could just imagine living there 80 years ago and waking in the morning to the beautiful view of the sound. Those windows you see were the bedrooms on the second floor.
"Kenny Queen" I actually ran into a character from the book while at the Whalehead.... seriously READ THE BOOK.

Drake said that this was part of the Mystery and that we needed the Mystery Van to figure this out.. I am sure Phyl will not be so pleased to hear that.

On a side note.. my mental images matched up perfectly to what really stood in front of me while I was touring ... I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS...

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Not my legacy...

This is not MY family's legacy but I am sure it is someone's families.. but I enjoyed visiting just the same.

Yesterday after work Drake and I took out on a little adventure you know one of those adventures I could take weekly if I say LIVED HERE!!! we drove a little bit farther north than where we are staying and saw four people from Mathews no KIDDING... and they were NOT in the same group.. three different groups, four different people I thought I had returned to hell taken a wrong turn and ended up back in Mathews. Alas, we had not and we kept on our merry way and did not even wave at the people we saw, hey it is my vacation I will not wave if I want to!

After parking our car we hopped out and looked at the very tall looming building above us at which time Drake said there is no way in hell I am going to climb to the top of that thing so you can take a few lousy pictures.. not happening woman! "We are going to climb THAT???" It was at that moment I realized that the sound in his voice was not exactly excited but one tinted with a bit of fear. I told him we would be fine and off I flew to throw $20 bucks at a man older than Methuselah and he made me sign a form saying if I dropped to my death that he was leaving me there for the Osprey's to eat .... well to be honest I don't really know what it said I just signed it.

Off we went.. up up up up up... up up up up up... up up up up... SCREECHING HALT just one platform from the top. I look back and Drake is plastered to the side of the wall shaking his head and mumbling this bitch is crazy.. this bitch is crazy.. this bitch is crazy I can't do this! I can't do this! I can't do this! So I make my way back down 20 steps that I had just lumbered my way up and explained to him that there was only one more tiny flight and that he could make it and that there was a platform there he could stand on while I went out and took the photos, I explained I would be really fast and we could head back down. He mumbled something under his breath then I didn't quite catch but there were some not so nice words I can promise you and in a broken little voice he said... "o-o-o-ok"

Back up those 20 steps I climbed and then up 20 mor.... oh shit... this is not happening... where is the platform??? Why is there a door that wind is howling in?? WHERE IS THE FREAKING PLATFORM? I glance back and Drake is right behind me with the look of complete fear and wild look that I know says "I can overcome this fear thing just to throw you off for lying to me!!!!" I had just trudged up more than 200 steps I would be damned if I was going back without one single picture, so I again said "Drake there is nothing to worry about honey I promise! Just stand here REALLY close to the side of the building and hold on to this handle I will run around and take the photos and we will RUSH back down!!" He replied with an evil look that would have curled your toes.

But without further ado.. here are the shots from Not My Legacy, The Currituck Lighthouse...

The Keeper's Home
Views as we ascended.
From the bottom looking up....

From the top looking down...

Views from the Platform outside..
Photos from my weird ass view...

I am sorry but I do believe that there photos I got were worth my painfully cramped curled toes that resulted from the evilness in my son's stare!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


My baby ain't so much of a baby anymore....

It is a goooood thing.

This week so far has been full of wonderful little moments like these.

Hope to post more of these later....

All of a sudden the world just melts away and all you are left with is you and your dog.
I stand here today with the whole world ahead of me for the taking... I just need to take that first step.

"Yes I just said "Chhhheeeessseee!" but no one is going to believe you when you tell them I actually talk.." *Wink*

Sunday, July 25, 2010

New Point Comfort Light a different view...

The shots I didn't show you yesterday.. Just some random things I took shots of that I liked...

The abandoned baby... I think he just didn't make it. It made me rather sad. The nest was built right on the little dock.

It is really just a window frame but I adored it..

Hmmmm this looks a bit lived in... like it is someones current home... nah...
Stand stones and a peek of a window (I hid the dead bird that was hung up in it)

Am I in a dungeon???

What apparently happens to paint in salt air..

Sand Stone steps.

Underneath the steps...
Ladder to the top.. umm yea I used the thing...

See... I used it.. by the way that is a LONG way down.
Loose brick..

ACK!!!! We ended up NOT ALONE.. I knew that little home looked lived in!!!!

This little guy was MUCH more calm than the other dude...

Even when he doesn't look like such a little guy!!!!!