Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Now for the rest of the story...

Well not the REST because seriously I would be very boring after the first sentence or two that ended with and then I gritted my teeth, so how about Now for "a bit more" of the story.

So as you know we made it there and interesting enough there was very little duck tape involved in the actual drive there... a couple of rolled eyes and a few giggles as someone did just as predicted on the previously fictional agenda. A few of those include:
- Asking us to turn down the radio before we got out of Mathews
- Threatening to use a port a potty less than 40 minutes from home (i think she found a real bathroom I am still not sure)
- Eating at a place with neon lights...

As time moved very slowly through the time we spent at GMU with constant interruptions as I tried to speak to people, and an untold number of digs at my emotions, my level of anxiety and just plain anger rose to a level that I was not completely sure I could contain and at one point shortly before lunch on day two I knew that I was flirting dangerously with exploding superlatives all over the Dewberry room in front of about 200 other parents. It was at this point that in my head a tug of war of sorts was going on, "get up and leave" or "sit here until the end" eventually when the lady said "One more question and then we are headed to lunch" I figured this was a good a time as any to duck out and compose myself for a minute or two before having to deal with lunch.

This is where things get interesting.....

I gather up my belongs with out a glance to anyone in particular and head directly for the door behind me hang a left, then a left, then another left into the bathroom. (Keep in mind that all those superlatives that were screaming to get out just a mere minute before were being muttered the whole time I was turning left) The first thing that hit me was .. "this bathroom looks a bit different than all the others ones I have been to since getting here", the second thing that hit me was "Why would someone leave the toilet seat up in the girls bathroom", the third thing that hit me was "Ahh shit... wrong bathroom." At this point there was not a lot I could do but finish what I had come there to do and politely leave.

As I was finishing up I realize I am not alone in the boys bathroom... hhmmm what to do... what to do??? After a quick second of analyzing I realize that I have to just make a dash for it and HOPE that the dude is at the sink and not at one of those weird things that are hanging on the wall right as you walk in.. you know those things that I did not see as I was muttering about nails and eyeballs and such. I knew this was my only hope of getting out of there with minimal damage as they were getting ready to break for lunch and the rest of the crowd would be headed in shortly!

I took a deep breath (not a bright idea in a boys bathroom by the way) and started out the stall and much to my relief the dude was in fact washing his hands at a sink and not watering his lizard, unfortunately he did not miss the fact that some half crazed blond lady was making her way out of the bathroom. It was then that I did the only thing I knew to do.. I smiled and said "Hi! There are absolutely NO lines in this one!" and walked right out the door!

I mean really what would you have done??!!??

There are a couple of things I would like to mention before I finish up for the day.
1. I walked straight into the girls bathroom across the hall and washed my hands!!
2. The boys bathroom doesn't smell very nice
3. The girls bathroom has a baby changing station and a lactation room.. the boys bathroom does NOT... I am sorry but they should have to change dirty diapers AND feed babies too.
4. There was in fact a sign on the door that said BOYS or MEN or something.. I didn't look at the sign.
5. After trying desperately to figure out how I ended up in the boys bathroom and not the girls after being on campus for a day in a half, the mystery was in fact solved... every other girls bathroom on the campus was .... ding ding ding ON THE LEFT! My theory on why it is on the right in this particular hall way was so that I would have something to write about regarding the time at GMU other than saying.. I gritted my teeth the WHOLE TIME.

Peace out.


  1. Don't feel too bad. One time, I walked straight into the wrong APARTMENT. I made it past the kitchen into the living room before I realized my mistake. The second thing I realized was that there was someone in the kitchen.

    I turned right around and walked out again unnoticed.

  2. Damn I hate when that happens! They did have toilet paper...right?

  3. I also get frustrated very easily, and have to walk out before I make a behind of myself.
    Sorry, but I'm giggling about your bathroom mistake:)

  4. Your quick, immediate, confident and (most importantly) unreactionary/unapologetic response to the man just proves one thing.

    I want your autograph.

  5. I'm with CBW -- you are awesome. Next time it happens drop your mother's name as you leave.

    "[MOTHER'S NAME HERE], you are one ditzy broad." I know it would make ME feel better. ; )