Thursday, March 25, 2010

What is today again??

Photo taken the other evening on a beach walk.... kinda how things feel right now.

Oh yea.. Thursday but it is also today. And so far today I have the following to be happy about...

1. Woke up on the right side of the dirt. (I think)

2. Actually got dressed.... as in clothes... not jammies.. clothes.

3. I reminisced about the lovely evening I had with some very dear friends who hadn't read yesterday's post therefore did NOT smack the shit out of me.

4. I drank a really nice cup of coffee.

5. Got the children off to school without any major melt downs.. minor but no major.

6. I laced up my tennis shoes and walked the dog .. for 2 miles.

7. I have the most wonderful people in my life, including distant cousins who are new to me but are quickly becoming one of my favorite people on earth. I have a gaggle of Blisters (sorry Phyl). I have the most wonderful Sister Person in the entire world. I have facebook people who I adore. I have peeps coming out of the wood work, who like me for me...

The point is regardless of yesterday's post I do have very positive things in my life.

The problem is.. not that other people don't like me.. the problem is not that I have a mess in my life.. the problem is not my kids.. not the weather.. not lack of money... or food or shelter..

THE PROBLEM IS ME.. I don't like me and that is just the bottom line of it. Yes Yes I get that you should love your self blah blah blah... well I don't. I don't like what I see in the mirror, I don't like my lack of will power, I don't like relationships I have with some people (not including the people from above), I don't like I have a clothes full of lovlies and the only thing that fits is a Muu Muu. I suppose it is time for me to work on me..

I just don't know where to start... I guess at the likely spot. With me.


  1. You have already started. You got up, got dressed, and walked TWO MILES!!
    Change is hard, but the key is to start, and today, you did.

  2. Well if you dont like it, fix it ... whining isnt going to do it .. go walk another 2 miles this afternoon. Tough loves all I got for you Blister!

  3. You already started! Now keep it up!

  4. It's very overwhelming to come out of a funk, speaking as someone who stays in one, but you've taken some steps and now just need to keep up the momentum.

    For the next week, don't beat yourself up over anything except this:

    1. You must get dressed.
    2. You must go for a walk, even if it's only for 15 minutes.

    Just do those two things. Then, if you want to come back home and get back into pajamas, fine. If you want to go back to bed. Great. But just do those two things consistently every day for a week.

    Small steps. GEt used to taking small steps and then you build from there.

    Would live in my pajamas forever if allowed, so do as I say and not as I do.

    p.s. If you don't do those 2 things for a week, I"m driving to Bavon for the smacking session. The Waterman may want to pull out that handy video camera of yours, I'm sure he could get big bucks for it.

  5. wake up and start your day like this every day. Positive, positive, positive. when you think/say something negative, stop and readjust your focus and attitude. One some negative word, like repluse, can send you into a tail spin. Not that I know . . but I've been spinning for almost a week.