Dear Amtrak Northeast Regional 84,
I do understand that this past weekend put a crippling dump of snow on your beautiful tracks that stretch from Richmond to NYC, and for that I am very sorry. I know that the trees that have fallen over your tracks have to be heavy and probably bruised you in places. It does not escape me that the snow laying on you is cold and you could probably use a Meespurr or a good stiff shot of Brandy to keep you warm. For all of these things I am incredibly sorry.
It is my understanding that Mother Nature is not quite finished beating you up and calling for another round of 10 to 20 inches of the white not so warm stuff to fall along your NoVA corridor later today and into tomorrow. I am offering to go beat up Mother Nature for you at this point, I mean she is just being down right MEAN, and you are my friend and I like to protect my friends.
Because I have offered to protect you and stand up and fight for you, I believe this means you can come out of hiding. There is no reason for you to hide in the garage like a coward anymore! Get out of there and back on your run ... remember the little train that could? "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!!!"?? Now is your turn little train.. THINK YOU CAN.
Your Friend,
Re
PS. If you don't come out of that garage by Thursday morning at 6 am... I will in fact turn to other means of transportation to get me the HELL OUT OF HERE and our friendship will be OVER.
After working with the railroad for 20 yrs. (they hauled our beer) I have found if you slip the engineer a case of beer or a 1/5 of old crow you can get what ever you want done. I just don't know if I want to be riding in the back of the bus after he drinks the 1/5.(maybe up front helping him drink it?) MM
ReplyDeletelet him drink away just dont let him text I want my friend back!! Have a blast!!!
ReplyDeleteKL
And you've got backup!
ReplyDeleteIf the train isnt running, I think driving is the answer, it will take longer and you cant drink wine but you'll be here in 7 hrs ......... damn it that train better well run ... GAH
ReplyDeleteWV: factwil .. I say its a good sign!
Hey, I got your back Re. That Mother Nature is a capricious bitch, but we can subdue her through sheer will, combined with our pluck and determination. You'll get there; I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteIt will be fine.
ReplyDeleteIt will be fine.
It will be fine.
If I keep saying it enough, it usually works.